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What the hell, bikers? What the HELL?

By Rogerborg (Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:38:31 PM EST) (all tags)

I rode a 50cc 2 stroke scooter in Majorca when I was 17, and I've got 100% in GTA: Vice City and San Andreas. This isn't supposed to be difficult. Where's the Freeeeedom?

So Compulsory Basic Training today. Elements A and B - polishing shiny helmets, and dipping our sticks, no bother. Element C... riding the bike... urgh. Not an EPIC FAIL, a "pass if you want to". I chose to redo it, so won't get out on the road until Tuesday now.

Good instructors, awful syllabus. Teaching all over, innit? Too much theory, too much required instruction, not enough time to actually practice and learn the techniques. The site - which of course is standards compliant - wasn't great either; too cramped to get above 2nd, and unrealistically short runs ups to the simulated junctions. Bike was fine, but initially heavier than I'd expected; I'd kind of imagined a push-bike with a motor, rather than a proper motor-vehicle. Honda CG125 for the crank-cases.

So 3 out of 5 of us ended up re-doing element C (riding in circles), while 2 blokes went on their road run. One of them had just dropped £1000 on riding gear, and the other was a mad keen cyclist, so I think that assplains it.

We got to element D, talking about all the ways you can become fender ketchup. It was surprisingly informative. Who knew there was such a variety of ways to FAIL? Road signs. Wow. Tram speed limit. I didn't know there was even such a sign. Why is that significant? Because it means there are trams around and trams run on tracks.

The road underfoot is clearly out to get me. The very planet is now hostile to my existence. I think I need more armour. Lots more.

Poll, redux -------->

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What the hell, bikers? What the HELL? | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

GTA 100% and you care about a license? by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #1 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:45:43 PM EST

Clearly you're a master driver, pilot, diver, runner, swimmer, and overall champion criminal. Just get a bike and ride. If some cop is stupid enough to stop you, jack his car, run him over, hit the helicopters with the rocket launcher and then go home to change your clothes so no one recognises you.

: Also, when I come off at 100mph in my underpants by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #8 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 03:02:23 PM EST

I can just roll over a couple of times then get up and keep banging. Hmm, perhaps I should just wait for GTA IV on PC instead.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

More armor.... by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #2 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:56:36 PM EST

...and a jousting lance.

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix

: Knight Riders by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #4 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 01:00:57 PM EST

George Romero should stick with zombies.

[ Parent ]

My class was 20 hours by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #3 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:58:01 PM EST

4 hours on a Friday, and 8 on Saturday and Sunday, of Mother's Day Weekend. Ten hours of classtime, and ten hours of track time, I think we had 250 cruisers.

We probably spent half an hour just on finding the friction point on the clutche, some of the ladies had trouble with that, one or two dropped out at that point.

Later on we did the riding in circles, up to 3rd gear, panic stops, wet stops, curve stops, panic swerves, regular swerves, figure 8 without touching down, etc. I barely passed, but it was good enough. I dropped the bike once on a mad swerve, and got a scrape on my shiny black leather boots.

Maybe you need to smoek some hash first, next time, to get in the proper paranoid frame of mind.

That sounds more like it. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #7 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 02:52:46 PM EST

This was 8 hours, split about 3/5 theory (charts of internal organs + pointing at the bits of iron that will intrude on them) vs riding, with 2 hours of the riding on the Queen's Highway. I think it really needs double that amount of riding, much of it before getting on the open road.

I don't know how you Colonial fellows do it, but on this side of the pond, we do this CBT nonsense, then can ride a 125cc / 14hp basically indefinitely (re-doing the training every 2 years) without ever sitting a proper test. Since many biking accidents seems to be SMIDSY (Sorry Mate I Didn't See You), the size of bike wouldn't really seem to be relevant, except that bigger is actually safer. All they're doing is ensuring that the Speed Racers will pile into a ditch at a lower speed.

You know, I may Write My Congressperson about this. It's really not good enough; there could be a lot more bureaucracy involved.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

The power of private enterprise by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #10 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 03:11:11 PM EST

I had to pay for mine, $250, IIRC, but I had to apply within days of the course's opening up.

Each state has different rules, I don't know if any have cc or hp requirements. Some states let you ride by yourself, no passengers, only at day, on a learner's permit. New York has the no passengers rule, plus you have to be within one mile of a legal mc rider who is "supervising" you. Some folks don't even bother with licenses.

No cc or hp restrictions that I know of in the land of the free. If you're the man who knows he can handle a 100+ hp nearly race ready Kawasaki that can hit 186 mph and do an 11 second quarter mile with no experience, lots of people will sell you one.

As far as retesting, you're kidding me. I think we have vision tests every decade or so, but that's it.

[ Parent ]

Due to the above laws by wumpus (4.00 / 1) #16 Sun Apr 27, 2008 at 05:33:58 PM EST

there are basically no 150cc bikes available in the US (you might try sneaking one over the Canukistan border). Beginner motorcycling articles are full of tales of newbies being told that 600cc 100+hp supersport machines "will bore you in months" and the salesmen were bent on selling the 1000+cc beasts instead (it only gets worse after this).

Wumpus

[ Parent ]

: Even 250's are hard to find by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #17 Sun Apr 27, 2008 at 06:32:57 PM EST

though the only 250 I've heard recommended for the highway is a Ninja.

[ Parent ]
: my 600 cc is starting to bore me by garlic (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri May 02, 2008 at 02:13:01 PM EST

it's been 5 years though, and it's a 35 hp cruiser, not a crotchrocket.

[ Parent ]

More armour will cost.... by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #5 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 01:08:35 PM EST

An upgrade to Level 3 armour will cost 8,000 Metal units. Since you said lots more, I would get digging....

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL

Excellent by Herring (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 02:50:19 PM EST

You may now deliver me a pizza.

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey

: You're thinking of this by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #9 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 03:05:48 PM EST

There was one granny on the course who was riding one of them, but she didn't even make it through element C. BACK TO BASICS, FAGGIO JOCKEY.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

That 125 is a cute kid's bike. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #11 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 04:14:48 PM EST

That was a loaner, right?

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.

Fo' shizzle by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #13 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:29:15 PM EST

My mid life crisis ~~wasn't allowed~~ didn't extend to buying a bike before I found out if I needed to bring a change of underwear when riding one. The jury's still out on that one.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

: I should clarify. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #15 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:44:25 PM EST

I didn't mean a bike which belongs to a cute kid. I meant the other way. Sorry.
Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.
[ Parent ]

The road underfoot is clearly out to get me. by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #12 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 04:49:02 PM EST

The two times I went down it was the road that got me.

Once the highway department was preparing to repave a section so they ripped up the top layer of old pavement, put down gravel on top of the next layer, and, whoops!, forgot to put up "loose gravel" signs. VDot bought my bike. And a couple cars, one pickup, and a Fairfax County Police cruiser that also lost it on that curve.

The second time was an oil slick, on a steep hill, coming down to the light.

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}

: Huzzah! by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:37:47 PM EST

Get him, road! I'm on your side.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
: haven't dropped mine on the road. by garlic (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri May 02, 2008 at 02:15:31 PM EST

dropped it trying to put down the kickstand too close to the grass.
wet metal plates, and metal bridge gratings aren't fun though.

[ Parent ]

Hmmm.. by Sapphire (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu May 22, 2008 at 06:29:11 PM EST

I selected the Geezer option. I can't say I ride my HD like a Geezer. I do take my time when I'm riding. I love my bike and the faster I get to my destination, the faster I have to stop riding.

What the hell, bikers? What the HELL? | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback